Working at Ithemba is a challenge. Sometimes, it can almost feel like merely baby-sitting. There are so many children. To pour into them all individually is extremely difficult. With such a large group of children that are generally used to neglect, individual attention can be good and bad. Too much time spent with one child can mean that another is basically told that he or she is not worthy of the same love. Too much time spent with the group as a whole, holds off building relationships.
On top of that, working with children in South Africa is completely different than any other time or place of ministry in my life. I feel so ill-equipped at times. It is in those times that God reminds me, without Him, just how ill-equipped I would be. With Him and for Him though, so much can be done!
“I can do ALL things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” ~Phil 4:13
So far in my time at Ithemba, God has continually placed three children in my path. I feel like God is calling me to minister one-on-one to Bongiwe, Aludehu, and Victor. I met Bongiwe our very first day at Ithemba. A beautiful, loving, spunky five year old, she picked me out of the line of fellow teammates and immediately had my heart. Our second day at Ithemba, I was greeted by her jumping into my arms and yelling my name. Most of the children couldn’t remember a single name they’d learned the day before and I was struggling just as much. It took me several days to learn her name, said so quietly every time I’d ask her. As loving as Bongiwe is, she is also extremely jealous and can be somewhat aggressive. She is most likely fairly neglected at home. Though she can be a handful at times, God has given me a heart of understanding and compassion for her. He has pressed upon me that sometimes, Bongiwe just needs to feel special.
Aludehu, is very literally the quietest child at Ithemba. The first time I noticed her, she stood against a wall alone. I saw right away that she did not interact at all with the other children. Even in a crowd, Aludehu sat alone. After no luck when trying to speak with her, I asked one of the Ithemba teachers about her. I was then told that Aludehu won’t speak to anyone. The teachers try to get her to interact in any way, but she always refuses. I was also informed that Aludehu’s name means absolutely nothing. It is not common for a Xhosa name to be without a meaning. Names are highly important in African culture. I was surprised and saddened by the fact the this lonely girl’s name held no significance. I knew right then, God was placing her on my heart. I am slowly seeing a change in her. The first step was to get her to allow me to sit beside her. That task, in and of itself, took a couple of days. The second step has really been a combination of getting her to make eye contact when I say her name, along with having her shake her head in acknowledgment to questions. I have not yet heard a word from Aludehu. I am not sure when I will. One thing I am sure of, is that God is definitely teaching me patience and utter reliance on His timing.
Victor, is by far the most difficult child at Ithemba. He comes from an extremely abusive environment. I’m told he has made huge behavioral strides in the last year, and I must say that I can’t possibly imagine what he used to be like. I have never worked with abused children, before now, and sometimes I stop and wonder what God is doing placing Victor in my lap. The first couple of weeks, he was honestly kind of seen as “everyone’s problem”. God has made it apparent to me in the past few days, that Victor is going to instead be my privilege. Victor has hit, kicked, and bitten almost every member of my team, myself included. So, when God placed this seemingly uncontrollable child in my hands I was pretty much like, “Really God?! Are You sure? Maybe someone else can take him?” God’s answer was pretty much like, “Yes, I’m sure. He’s yours. You will love him. You will care for him. You will hold him.” That didn’t really appease my selfish flesh, but I chose to go with it, as He knows better than I do. There are times when I catch myself wanting to give up on Victor. And then, there are the times when I see the discipline or positive reinforcement I’m using, work with Victor. Those are times where, even for five minutes, I get to see the sweet little boy that is hidden so deep inside this troubled child. I see God in those five minutes. I see God in Victor. I see God in Aludehu. I see God in Bongiwe.
God reveals Himself to me in the eyes of a child.
God teaches me His truth through the brokeness of a child.
God gives me patience by opportunity to be patient.
God moves not only in the lives of those I see, but also in my life.
Thank you God for placing me here. Thank you God for taking me away to bring me closer to You. Use me, teach me, show me God, that I may be a vessel for You.
“But the Lord said unto Him, Go thy way: for he is a chosen vessel unto me, to bear My name before Gentiles, and kings, and the children of Israel.” ~Acts 9:15
Thank You God for choosing me.
